So, during my spring cleaning all day today, I was repeatedly finding things that I had written.....Lots of the ideas still relevant today! The one thing that I found though that struck me to my core was several little pages of me freestyling on a hotel resorts notepad in Negril, Jamaica, while I was on the beach.......I felt so compelled in my spirit to share this with all of the women whose shoes I was once standing in.....
"To See Or Not To See" Summer 2010
Sand acting as a natural exfoliant and taking away all the old dead cells as it removes also the old from my life bringing in the new. I asked myself this Question: Which weigh heavier? Watching lovers and having no lover OR Watching lovers and missing your lover? Cathartic experience embodying the purging of one's old life for one's new life. Grown up indeed, in experience more than anything but having a more mature appreciation of life!
Gotta love it!
People that look like me but have accents that clearly come from somewhere else! The natural elements of blue water, fruits and vegetables.....How life is supposed to be lived! Seeing all things that God has made for us! Living off the land and loving every minute. Ecstasy without the pill. It's funny what a pretty face will do/or where it gets you.
Answer: You get numb and so completely jaded with life that you become totally devoid of emotion when you have no lover, so that's easy to deal with......I believe the answer for me is:
'To miss one, lie heavier in my heart than to not give a shit!'
The masochistic sun beating down on my body like the worst fight I've had in a long time. Why can we find pleasure in pain? Is that just part of the growing process or a rule of the hard headed? And you know what else is beautiful? Writing on this little pad with a pen, on the beach! #SoSexInTheCity
As the Angel sleeps, I let the sun kick my ass in remembrance of all the bite marks I had all over my entire body given to me by my lover before I went away.
How is it that ocean and sunny skies make everything better?
In a place with no concept for time or a care in the world. No cellular phone service, No job, No diet. No rules! No limits! No Twitter, No Facebook, No Text Messages, No Emails, No work......No longer in Kansas! But you know what? Even without having to deal with the regular routines of my everyday life, it is times & experiences like these that make enduring all that crap worthwhile! I always liked to consider my vacations equivalent to hitting the "reset" button in life. I came back to some of my earlier loves: Sun, Sand, Ocean.......Missing my grandmom because her birthday is approaching and knowing that she took me on my 1st Caribbean vacation when I was 13. This is why the one word is: Cathartic
The color of water: Blue
The name of the place: Paradise
Children with British accents catching little fish in the ocean with a plastic spoon, string, stick and a lil' bait.
Multiculteral Beauty!
To change myself so many different shades and hues of dark caramel colors!
Music makes beautiful background noise in combination with crashing waves! The environment itself is inspiring, if you can look at it with creative glasses! Weightless in the water, floating about....no wonder they call it paradise.
And last but certainly not least is my earliest love of all: My Writing with just a pen and a pad. To be totally honest, its always been my favorite way to write. For me, its writing RAW! There's nothing like a naked canvas & a quintessential, brand new, different, beautiful change in your environment to bring out an undeniable inspiration for a writer at heart! I started writing very early in my life and it ALWAYS was and still is, my therapy on paper!
The fresh fruit plate I ate every morning at 7:30am reminded me of when me and my baby sister were little, she used to love cantaloupe & watermelon.....My fruit plate consisted of one large slice of pineapple, mango, cantaloupe and watermelon. I myself, hated watermelon & cantaloupe as a child......But I started to come into my own, my individual sense of self ......I try all kinds of stuff now because there's a whole world out here! But also during my early morning breakfast, I have developed a love for Guava Jelly! That jam tastes good on everything!
Watching the families: Husband & Wife with their children....some between 8-9 & lots of babies. Makes me wonder if I'll ever have a family of my own? A husband I adore and a baby that I owe a huge favor to! It is said that any children a woman has miscarried or aborted will be reunited with those children in heaven and now at my age, I am beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to meet a child of mine before my clock stops ticking OR will I live in a long life of regret of all those selfish actions I made in my past? However, I know that God can change your life in the blink of an eye & the Lord has changed mine in the last 2 months alone, so anything is possible....Have the faith and He will provide.
Its not just the babies that get my wheels turning but the much older, married couples on vacation....Will I find my soul mate ? The love of my life? Or have I just met him 2 months ago? Have I found my someone to love me until I'm old and grey? One of my biggest fears was growing old alone.......And now, in my newfound freedom, I know anything can drop from the sky, outta nowhere and land right in your lap! I feel like I'm living proof of that right now!
"To See Or Not To See" Summer 2010
Sand acting as a natural exfoliant and taking away all the old dead cells as it removes also the old from my life bringing in the new. I asked myself this Question: Which weigh heavier? Watching lovers and having no lover OR Watching lovers and missing your lover? Cathartic experience embodying the purging of one's old life for one's new life. Grown up indeed, in experience more than anything but having a more mature appreciation of life!
Gotta love it!
People that look like me but have accents that clearly come from somewhere else! The natural elements of blue water, fruits and vegetables.....How life is supposed to be lived! Seeing all things that God has made for us! Living off the land and loving every minute. Ecstasy without the pill. It's funny what a pretty face will do/or where it gets you.
Answer: You get numb and so completely jaded with life that you become totally devoid of emotion when you have no lover, so that's easy to deal with......I believe the answer for me is:
'To miss one, lie heavier in my heart than to not give a shit!'
The masochistic sun beating down on my body like the worst fight I've had in a long time. Why can we find pleasure in pain? Is that just part of the growing process or a rule of the hard headed? And you know what else is beautiful? Writing on this little pad with a pen, on the beach! #SoSexInTheCity
As the Angel sleeps, I let the sun kick my ass in remembrance of all the bite marks I had all over my entire body given to me by my lover before I went away.
How is it that ocean and sunny skies make everything better?
In a place with no concept for time or a care in the world. No cellular phone service, No job, No diet. No rules! No limits! No Twitter, No Facebook, No Text Messages, No Emails, No work......No longer in Kansas! But you know what? Even without having to deal with the regular routines of my everyday life, it is times & experiences like these that make enduring all that crap worthwhile! I always liked to consider my vacations equivalent to hitting the "reset" button in life. I came back to some of my earlier loves: Sun, Sand, Ocean.......Missing my grandmom because her birthday is approaching and knowing that she took me on my 1st Caribbean vacation when I was 13. This is why the one word is: Cathartic
The color of water: Blue
The name of the place: Paradise
Children with British accents catching little fish in the ocean with a plastic spoon, string, stick and a lil' bait.
Multiculteral Beauty!
To change myself so many different shades and hues of dark caramel colors!
Music makes beautiful background noise in combination with crashing waves! The environment itself is inspiring, if you can look at it with creative glasses! Weightless in the water, floating about....no wonder they call it paradise.
And last but certainly not least is my earliest love of all: My Writing with just a pen and a pad. To be totally honest, its always been my favorite way to write. For me, its writing RAW! There's nothing like a naked canvas & a quintessential, brand new, different, beautiful change in your environment to bring out an undeniable inspiration for a writer at heart! I started writing very early in my life and it ALWAYS was and still is, my therapy on paper!
The fresh fruit plate I ate every morning at 7:30am reminded me of when me and my baby sister were little, she used to love cantaloupe & watermelon.....My fruit plate consisted of one large slice of pineapple, mango, cantaloupe and watermelon. I myself, hated watermelon & cantaloupe as a child......But I started to come into my own, my individual sense of self ......I try all kinds of stuff now because there's a whole world out here! But also during my early morning breakfast, I have developed a love for Guava Jelly! That jam tastes good on everything!
Watching the families: Husband & Wife with their children....some between 8-9 & lots of babies. Makes me wonder if I'll ever have a family of my own? A husband I adore and a baby that I owe a huge favor to! It is said that any children a woman has miscarried or aborted will be reunited with those children in heaven and now at my age, I am beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to meet a child of mine before my clock stops ticking OR will I live in a long life of regret of all those selfish actions I made in my past? However, I know that God can change your life in the blink of an eye & the Lord has changed mine in the last 2 months alone, so anything is possible....Have the faith and He will provide.
Its not just the babies that get my wheels turning but the much older, married couples on vacation....Will I find my soul mate ? The love of my life? Or have I just met him 2 months ago? Have I found my someone to love me until I'm old and grey? One of my biggest fears was growing old alone.......And now, in my newfound freedom, I know anything can drop from the sky, outta nowhere and land right in your lap! I feel like I'm living proof of that right now!
You see, that person I met 2 months before is the love of my life today! AND we also have a son....that baby that I wondered would I ever have. What a difference 7 years can make!
Bottom Line: Life has a way of working itself out.....All you have to do is BELIEVE!
"Live every day as if it's been rigged in your favor!"
Ariana Huffington
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