Take A Walk With Me!

4/06/07 Lord, if today is my last day on this earth and you were to take me in my sleep, I am overjoyed with what I know of you!!!!! Sin not only separates us from God but it also dims the light in our spirit! One night I went out and ended up in a drunken state and made myself sick for two days afterward. Once I began to feel physically better, I still felt under the weather in my spirit. Then it dawned on me, that when we do things to damage the flesh intentionally, such as becoming drunk, it also tampers with our spirituality. I realized that not only did my body need time to recuperate and become sober but that it actually took my spirit longer to sober up longer than it did my body. My spirit needs to be sober to be able to receive the grace that God is willing to offer us when we turn away from Him. Glory be to God for saving us and also accepting us as we are in out fallen state.

(Written 4/20/01) Me and Chanel went to the Regal Beagle last night and she reminded me of a time when we were double dating with Big Man and Clark. Clark was a friend of Big Man’s that I introduced Chanel to so that whenever Big Man and me got together, Chanel and Clark got together as well. Well, this one time in particular they asked us to take a ride with them to Pittsburgh. Now, to be totally honest, I don’t think we even worried about why we were going to Pittsburgh, it was just the fact that the four of us were going to be together. We always had so much fun with them dudes! Before leaving we had to meet up with this older guy that so happened to be joining us for this trip but he was taking his own car. Let’s just call this older guy, Cornelius. Cornelius was wearing what seemed to resemble that of a Russian hat, driving a Honda station wagon and had two Pit Bulls in the back of the car. Now of course you can kinda figure that shit is getting ready to get shady but I never said...

(Written 6/01/00) Last weekend was crazy as shit! I was up to my old tricks again, gettin ' them dudes for their change. Friday was lovely too because I had gotten off from work early. The first thing I thought to do was go and have a drink. After which, I needed to re-up on my cash flow cause I was fuckin ’ it up at the bar and I still had to go to the hairdresser that Saturday morning. I called this guy named Chip that I was dating last summer. Well, I wouldn ’t necessarily call it dating; it was more like fee for service or a sponsorship so to speak. Chip and I went out for salad and on the way home you know he got hit up for that doe! I called Pasta Too Much cause he owed me some money from a while back. [OK, so I came up with the name Pasta Too Much because towards the end of our tryst together he was beginning to have impotency problems and I thought: ‘Al dente pasta is still firm and he was more like over cooked pasta.’ And Pasta Too Much was born!] When he called my cell ...

Marcel had me on some other shit. I often told people that he took my mind and ran with it, without me even knowing that it was gone. I can definitely say that I learned the gift of gab and the art of persuasion from him. He was a master at it. Someone who could take your words and make them fit to what he wants you to believe is the right thing. I would probably spit in his face if I saw him today. I don't know why I have so much hatred in my heart for him? It's been 16 years since we've been together. At least I don't think about him anymore because I used to do a lot of that. Initially we were happy and I didn't think that anything would ever come in the way of that but it did. When I lived in Baltimore and we were dating it was bliss. I was usually over his house or he over mine. We must have slept together 12 times before anything sexual happened. It was becoming scary like I thought he was gay or something. It got to the point where I had to make the first mo...

(Written 5/19/00) I know I started telling stories from the age of 15 but I was out of control way before that! When I was around 13, I was a freshman in high school and me and my new found friend Tee were rollin ’ somethin ’ serious! Everybody used to say that we looked alike but that’s probably because we were both short. I’m surprised that we even made it out of 9 th grade cause we must of hookied 30 times that year! We were young and wild and fresh out of catholic school so it was whatever. One Friday I was spending the night over Tee’s house for the weekend and that night was an unforgettable one. We waited patiently until her parents were asleep and then we made our move. We put stuffed animals under the covers and pulled the sheets all the way up so that it would look like we were still in the bed and then we headed downstairs. Sometime earlier that week we walked up and down the steps slowly trying to notice which steps squeaked and where. We kept going up and down the steps ...

(Written sometime in 1999) My current state of mind is shitty! I've pulled some capers in my time but never unless I hated the person that the situation would affect. This was the first time ever I've had to do something rotten to someone I still cared about. The fucked up thing about it is I'm at a point where if I let my feelings get in the way, I'll feel bad about what I did but since I'm not in the mood to feel bad.......Fuck It! You would think with, what I call a vast amount of experience in the relationship department I would've never gotten myself into this situation. His name is Dollars, that's his nickname or shall I say what he's known as in the streets. He is almost four years younger than me. When I was dating Big Man, God rest his soul, Dollars was coming up under him. Why was I dating the "help"? (as I like to call it) Well, the "help" had grown up and had no problem gettin ' at a dollar! (I guess that's wh...

(Written 4/27/00) You would think after all that shit he put me through I would be rid of Marcel by now but not likely. It was summertime and my mom kicked me out of the house again. She must have kicked me out once a year, so this was no different than before with the exception that she took my keys this time. I was dating Big Man strong at the time so I called him to tell him that I didn ’t have anywhere to stay. I knew that he wasn ’t going to offer me a place with him because he was a baller . That would cramp his style. He told me to find somewhere to stay and let him know how much it cost. So I looked at an apartment in Chestnut Hill Village because I was familiar with that complex. My credit was for shit because after I left Marcel and took the car, I had to neglect all of my credit card bills in order to maintain the car not and insurance. So, when I went to fill out the application, I went with that Philly cap and gift of gab. I explained to them that my credit was bad an...