From the Door!

(Written 5/19/00)

I know I started telling stories from the age of 15 but I was out of control way before that! When I was around 13, I was a freshman in high school and me and my new found friend Tee were rollin’ somethin’ serious! Everybody used to say that we looked alike but that’s probably because we were both short. I’m surprised that we even made it out of 9th grade cause we must of hookied 30 times that year! We were young and wild and fresh out of catholic school so it was whatever. One Friday I was spending the night over Tee’s house for the weekend and that night was an unforgettable one. We waited patiently until her parents were asleep and then we made our move. We put stuffed animals under the covers and pulled the sheets all the way up so that it would look like we were still in the bed and then we headed downstairs. Sometime earlier that week we walked up and down the steps slowly trying to notice which steps squeaked and where. We kept going up and down the steps until we got it down to a science and were able to go downstairs without making any noises. So when we went down the steps that Friday night we were quiet as mice. Once we got downstairs we went for the keys to the car. Tee’s dad had a Volvo. It was brand new back then and we were trying to look stylish so that’s the car we were gonna steal. We went out back and got in the car. Tee started it up and backed down the driveway. Now mind you neither one of us had ever driven before so this was indeed an adventure. When Tee was driving down the street something seemed strange. She was driving on the left side of the road. I said, “Tee, I think you need to be on the other side of the street.” She felt a little nervous behind the wheel so she pulled over and I got in the driver’s seat. I kept looking at driving as a simple task so that I wouldn’t get flustered like Tee. I remember saying to myself over and over again, ‘It’s just a stop and go process. One pedal stops the car and the other one makes it go.’ This made it a little easier. Well, at least in my mind it did but I was still a little shaky so I went to a payphone and called Chanel. She couldn’t figure out how to get out of her house. Tee and me just kept telling her to go out on her balcony and jump down. It was right over top of her driveway so it wasn’t that far up. She agreed at first so we went to get her. Once we pulled up in the driveway Chanel came out and said she couldn’t do it. I can’t remember if it would’ve been too noisy or if she wouldn’t have a way back in the house cause she couldn’t climb back up there but all in all she didn’t go. Tee and me left and decided to go and get my boyfriend. My boyfriend at the time was a guy that is coincidentally now locked up with Seven, his name is Norm. I had the biggest crush on Norm before we hooked up. He was thugged out, even way back in 86’ that was a turn on for me. He looked mean all the time and I liked that about him. We didn’t have sex though cause I wasn’t real fond of sex at that time. That got fucked up when I had my first experience. I couldn’t understand why it was such a big deal for people so I wasn’t really pressed to make it happen again. Anyway, when we went and got Norm, he took control of the whole situation. That’s my type………the take charge nigga. He insisted that he drive. So I let him and we went and got his friend Ron. Ron liked Tee and he wanted to joyride too so it turned into a double date. We didn’t do anything but ride around for the rest of the night but it was summer and the sun roof was open and we were with boys so, who cared? When we got back to Tee’s house it must’ve been about 5:00am. We parked the car back in the driveway and carefully went back in the house, up the stairs, threw the stuffed animals on the floor and got back in the bed. The sun came out shortly after we lay down and Tee’s parents woke us up to go to breakfast. We got up, tired as hell and got dressed. The ending to this whole masquerade seemed a little like a sitcom because when we all piled in the car and Tee’s dad was pulling out of the driveway, he looked at the gage in the car and said, “That’s funny. I thought I had more gas than that?” So you see, I’ve been slick all along. My skill and technique has only escalated since time has gone by. You are dealing with a professional.