Too Many To Count!

(Written 6/01/00)

Last weekend was crazy as shit! I was up to my old tricks again, gettin' them dudes for their change. Friday was lovely too because I had gotten off from work early. The first thing I thought to do was go and have a drink. After which, I needed to re-up on my cash flow cause I was fuckin’ it up at the bar and I still had to go to the hairdresser that Saturday morning. I called this guy named Chip that I was dating last summer. Well, I wouldn’t necessarily call it dating; it was more like fee for service or a sponsorship so to speak. Chip and I went out for salad and on the way home you know he got hit up for that doe! I called Pasta Too Much cause he owed me some money from a while back. [OK, so I came up with the name Pasta Too Much because towards the end of our tryst together he was beginning to have impotency problems and I thought: ‘Al dente pasta is still firm and he was more like over cooked pasta.’ And Pasta Too Much was born!] When he called my cell phone he said that he would be at my house in 10 minutes to meet me. I left the front doors unlocked because I planned on waiting outside for him since I had other things to do. Well, wouldn’t you know that Dollars showed up and kindly let himself in when he noticed the doors were open. I was upstairs brushing my teeth and Dollars just walked in my bathroom! While I stood there in astonishment with toothpaste dripping from my mouth, the phone rang and it was Pasta telling me that he was outside. Like a dummy I said, “The door is open…..”(then I caught myself) and said, “I mean, I’m coming downstairs right now.” I told Dollars that I would be right back and I went downstairs to meet Pasta before he got a chance to let himself in also. I kept the conversation short and to the point. He had the money in his hand and I took it, before I could turn around and just take my ass back upstairs, Pasta says, “What’s up? Are you getting ready to do something or can we go upstairs for a minute?” I said, “Baby Boy is upstairs and I’m getting ready to be out so I’ll just call you later.” I went back upstairs and then Dollars and me were out on a mission with Nasir. I still cared about what happened to Dollars and everything but I didn’t care to be involved with him anymore. I had just outgrown that dude, that’s all. Anyway, I had to get from out of his company because he wasn’t profitable for me anymore. I wasn’t asking him for any money, not even if I needed it. That pride is a mutha fucka, ain’t it? I had already taken that nigga for $4,700 unwillingly so that was that for any financial favors in the long run. I wasn't usually into burning bridges but that was one that I didn’t plan on crossing again. Well, at least I had hoped not to have to cross it again. Plus, I didn’t want him to think I needed him for anything. No bills, no rent, not even pocket money. I was a big girl and I could take care of myself, you dig me? I was OK on a solo and I had all these other dudes lookin’ out for me like, China. Now China was a thug mutha fucka about his money and I liked that. He seemed a little take charge but I think I put a little fear in him also. He was younger than me. So what, I liked the babies! Anyhow, he acted hesitant on certain shit like sittin’ close to me or givin’ me a kiss or anything that had something to do with getting close. He repeatedly kept spending the night at my house by passing out drunk on my couch for like three nights in a row. Well, one morning he woke up and had an urge for me to count his money. I don’t know why? Maybe he was still drunk from the night before and couldn’t think but all I know is, he wanted me to count it, so I did! It came to about $3,500 and when I was done counting, I said, “I know you’re NOT going to have me count all this money and not offer me any of it? That would be rude, you know like you’re showing off or something.” Then he asked the question. You know, the one that got those kinda knuckleheads in trouble, “Why? You need some money?” I answered, in my Barbie Doll tone, “Yeah, I’m so poor it’s pathetic.” He got to tellin’ me how he had to pay for this and pay for that. He put so much money into this and that.....yatta, yatta, yatta. So I gave him the big girl response, “If a couple hundred dollars is gonna hurt you, then you probably shouldn’t be in the game anyway.” Ooooooooooo that was a GOOD one! You know I got the money after that. It was just that simple. One blow to the ego and it was whatever.

I was on some nervous shit about this book. I had come to the realization that I was writing a book, yes, but I had also come to the realization that Seven was getting ready to come home from jail and for him to find out some of this shit was gonna be kinda fucked up. I’ll be honest, my major shit was that Dollars situation. Seven and Dollars were familiar, sort of ……..through Big Man. I mean, I even helped Dollars write Seven a letter once for goodness sake! I was in too deep with that situation and even though Dollars and I were no longer, Seven thought that I had been celibate for about two years. How was I supposed to explain that to Seven? I mean that was my future I was talking about, not just some average Joe that I had dealt with in the past. I loved Seven, didn't I???

Note: In NO way am I glamorizing my former lifestyle! I am actually disgusted with myself by this particular post because as I've already explained, I started writing this book at least 10 years ago, and have become aware that if a certain guy didn't play a significant role in my life that I may not remember what name I gave him, because I can't figure out who Chip OR China was for the life of me! Today.......I became MORE disgusted by my past than normal! UGH!