After reading what I decided to post tonight......I think I may need to take everyones increasing advice to just go ahead and publish this "9 Months of Clarity" series into a book. Tonight's entry is HILARIOUS! My son was born 4/3/12, less than a month after this entry, so I was really at the tail end of my pregnancy run at the time. Not sure if it would be interesting to men as much as women BUT......The things us women must deal with, even while pregnant (smh)....Enjoy the laughter! I did!
(Written 2/10/12)
Technically, my next appointment wasn't until 2/13/12 but I had to schedule an emergency visit and make a mad dash there today. You'll never guess what I did...........Let me back up so you can understand the full story: I knew the hair on my vagina was growing wildly out of control. It had to be, I hadn't seen it in MONTHS! Every time me and my Stud Muffin would have sex, I would ask him, "Is the hair like a forest down there?" To which he would always say, "No! Not at all! Its not that bad." I really kinda knew better than to ask him because he likes it bushy and gross looking! Deep down, I couldn't take his word for my coochie's current appearance.......A few days ago I was laying on the bed and went to scratch the inside of my thigh and I could feel the coochie hair brushing up against the back of my hand, shooting out the side of my panties no less! I was mortified! How utterly disgusting! Well the frustrated, sometimes inpatient Capricorn wanted to cut it. I needed a mirror so I went and got the only mirror I had; a small compact one that I normally used to look at the back of my hair from the reflection of the bathroom mirror. It was too small! I still couldn't see shit! I mean, I could hold it down there but my damn belly is so big that when I looked down I couldn't see over my belly to even see it. This was NOT working out! So, I grabbed the hair on one side and pulled it out straight...it was so long that I could have braided it if I wanted to! I figured I could just clip it off with the scissors, as long as I pulled it far enough away from my body. I couldn't use little hair scissors either because of this big ass belly being in the way! Ugh! I just went and got the big kitchen scissors. I'm thinking, 'Just pull the hair all the way out and carefully cut if off.' It should be a piece of cake cause the hair almost came to my knees for goodness sake! I made my first attempt......Clip. Successful. I had a big ball of hair in my hands. Second attempt.....Clip. Third and fourth attempt.... Clip,Clip. Thinking, 'Okay! This is working out!' Fifth attempt.....Clip......"SHIIIIT!" I friggin clipped the lip of my vagina! Oh my God did it hurt AND it was bleeding like a son of a bitch! I couldn't believe I did that! I cut myself in a place that shouldn't even come in contact with scissors. Well needless to say, it continued to bleed for a couple of days. Every time I saw blood in my panties I started to freak out because I thought I was spotting in my third-trimester and after a couple days I felt down there with my finger while I was in the shower and the cut felt like a little bubble. Every time I squeezed the bubble, blood would come out! I was panicking. I thought it may have become infected if the blood was trapped inside a bubble and worse still, I didn't have a big enough mirror to see the damn thing! Being that I would never be able to forgive myself if it became infected and something happened to the baby as a result......I made an emergency doctor's visit. I was told that the thing that felt like a bubble was actually a blood blister. The doctor said to stop squeezing it and if it hurts that I should just put a warm compress on it. That really put my mind at ease and now I am on the road to recovery!
Lesson Learned: Never trim your private parts without a visual aid! Ever! Pregnant or not!
(Written 2/10/12)
Technically, my next appointment wasn't until 2/13/12 but I had to schedule an emergency visit and make a mad dash there today. You'll never guess what I did...........Let me back up so you can understand the full story: I knew the hair on my vagina was growing wildly out of control. It had to be, I hadn't seen it in MONTHS! Every time me and my Stud Muffin would have sex, I would ask him, "Is the hair like a forest down there?" To which he would always say, "No! Not at all! Its not that bad." I really kinda knew better than to ask him because he likes it bushy and gross looking! Deep down, I couldn't take his word for my coochie's current appearance.......A few days ago I was laying on the bed and went to scratch the inside of my thigh and I could feel the coochie hair brushing up against the back of my hand, shooting out the side of my panties no less! I was mortified! How utterly disgusting! Well the frustrated, sometimes inpatient Capricorn wanted to cut it. I needed a mirror so I went and got the only mirror I had; a small compact one that I normally used to look at the back of my hair from the reflection of the bathroom mirror. It was too small! I still couldn't see shit! I mean, I could hold it down there but my damn belly is so big that when I looked down I couldn't see over my belly to even see it. This was NOT working out! So, I grabbed the hair on one side and pulled it out straight...it was so long that I could have braided it if I wanted to! I figured I could just clip it off with the scissors, as long as I pulled it far enough away from my body. I couldn't use little hair scissors either because of this big ass belly being in the way! Ugh! I just went and got the big kitchen scissors. I'm thinking, 'Just pull the hair all the way out and carefully cut if off.' It should be a piece of cake cause the hair almost came to my knees for goodness sake! I made my first attempt......Clip. Successful. I had a big ball of hair in my hands. Second attempt.....Clip. Third and fourth attempt.... Clip,Clip. Thinking, 'Okay! This is working out!' Fifth attempt.....Clip......"SHIIIIT!" I friggin clipped the lip of my vagina! Oh my God did it hurt AND it was bleeding like a son of a bitch! I couldn't believe I did that! I cut myself in a place that shouldn't even come in contact with scissors. Well needless to say, it continued to bleed for a couple of days. Every time I saw blood in my panties I started to freak out because I thought I was spotting in my third-trimester and after a couple days I felt down there with my finger while I was in the shower and the cut felt like a little bubble. Every time I squeezed the bubble, blood would come out! I was panicking. I thought it may have become infected if the blood was trapped inside a bubble and worse still, I didn't have a big enough mirror to see the damn thing! Being that I would never be able to forgive myself if it became infected and something happened to the baby as a result......I made an emergency doctor's visit. I was told that the thing that felt like a bubble was actually a blood blister. The doctor said to stop squeezing it and if it hurts that I should just put a warm compress on it. That really put my mind at ease and now I am on the road to recovery!
Lesson Learned: Never trim your private parts without a visual aid! Ever! Pregnant or not!
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