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Random Ramblings!

(Written 12/26/03)
Why do I feel like there's a hole in my heart? I woke up this morning with these feelings of emptiness, I went straight to the bank to make a deposit then of course I go buy something to wear for the day. Somehow, shopping makes me feel better but at times I also feel like I'm going crazy....losing my mind. Or maybe I'm just a different person than most.....more compassionate than others and more caring than any man I know. What do I do to keep myself together? How do I keep from feeling sick in my stomach with curiosity? Maybe I need to be medicated by a doctor so I'm not constantly ridden with anxiety or maybe I need to realize who I am and what I'm worth in order to understand that my life is better than it seems. My spiritual sense always calls me when I feel this way. It's like I know that I am supposed to only be concerned with God's view of me and no one else's.......not even my own! I'm always so down on myself no matter what the situation and deep down I know I am so much better. Instead of feeling the strength of my wisdom for my age, I feel weak and almost senseless or naive so to speak. It feels weird to even write this down. My true feelings of myself and my mental state. I'm gonna be okay........I know who I am and I know what I'm capable of I'm just not sure of it all the time!

Comments

  1. onlyonevelvetSeptember 22, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    Wow, I am in tears because that was you almost 6 years ago and that is how I am feeling now. So I know that there is still hope for me.

    Luv Ya.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownSeptember 23, 2009 at 3:12 AM

    @Velvet- As long as my journey can be of help to ONE person such as yourself, I am still in a good place and you will be too! Look up! God's love is enough to mend any and all feelings of loneliness and insecurity.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Committee PrezSeptember 23, 2009 at 7:57 AM

    Lookin back, from whence we came right?!

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownOctober 28, 2009 at 10:41 PM

    Yes Dazzle......YES!

    ReplyDelete

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